Click on the links to watch the videos.
Watch: My Christmas Vlog For You!
Since I couldn't write cards this year.
Watch: My Special Christmas Performance
Cutest Christmas Carols from my New Friends from the West Bank! Showing off their English skills and throwing some Arabic Christmas songs in as well!
Watch: The Christmas Eve Parade in Bethlehem
Christmas Eve in Bethlehem
Merry Christmas Everyone!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
I'm Back!!
I am back in the Holy Land at last!!! It is Winter here and everyone is cold. I should also note that is 64 degrees outside and sunny. I don't get it either. There is even fruit on the trees here, oranges, grapefruit; strawberries are in season as well! I went to the Shook or market this morning in a sweater and by the time I got home, it was already getting too warm to wear it. It was only 8am. Winter here is not what I expected, but then again, most things in Israel are not what I expect, and that's why I love this place so! This trip, I am to be maid of honor in my good friends upcoming wedding in January. It just so happens that this puts me in the Holy Land at one of the most holiest times of the year, Christmas and Hannukah or "Channukah" as some of my friends here call it. I am rested, un-jetlagged, and ready to celebrate the start of Shabbat tonight with my Israeli family! Shabot in Israel is like our Sunday in America; except most of the country here honors it by actually doing what God tells us to do on the Sabbath; rest. The buses and trains don't run, most stores are closed, and you don't see very many people driving. In the Jewish calendar, the days are counted from the sunset of oen day until sunset the following day; therefore, Shabbat starts at sundown on Friday and goes to sundown on Saturday. Families eat together and celebrate the greatness of God, and, for Messianic Jews, Kahila or 'congregation' is in the morning (much like church). Ultra-Orthodox Jews keep to the Shabot by refraining from driving, cooking, even using electricity! Friday is a half day and you can see people scurrying about in the afternoon, grabbing last minute supplies for Shabbat dinner like Challa, a special Jewish braided bread eaten on Sabbath and holidays, and trying to get back home to their families before sundown.
If for anything else, Shabbat is a way to honor God and thank Him for the gift of family, freinds, and relaxation. I pray that your next Shabat is filled with rest and family! No matter how hard it is to stop moving in a constantly moving society, you will sure feel the blessings of shabbot if you just give yourself permission to relax.......God has! So Shabbat Shalom everyone!
Pictures from the market this morning: http://s747.beta.photobucket.com/user/beckerh20/library/Shook%20There%20It%20Is
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Awkward Moments at the Checkpoint
People usually talk about the checkpoints between Isreal and Palestine in a more serious manner than I am about to. It is always an adventure for me when traveling through a checkpoint unfortunatley, and I thought I'd share, just so you can avoid doing all the things that I've done.
First I'll paint you a picture of the bethlehem checkpoint. To walk across the border, there are two stations you must pass through. So lets say we are coming from the bethlehem side going to the Israeli side. First you walk up a slight hill through things that look like cattle chutes but with a roof and random pieces of barb wire attached to the sides. Pieces of barbed wire that I am very aware of since I have a habit of tripping over air and falling into walls and doors. When you get to the top of this hill, there are a series of rotating gateways made out of metal piping with a green a red light on the top. If its green, then you can use it, but if its red, then the area on the other side is closed. So first, find the one that is greenly lit, walk through, show your passport to the soldier in the booth, walk through another spinning gate thing, walk across a randomly placed and unused road to another cattle chute (not an actual cattle chute, it just remind me of them). Walk through the cattle chute to another turny gate thing, following the path that turns downward, leading you into a hug mini costco sized building but with walls that are half the lenght of the total height of the building. There are five or six gates on your right hand side that start from where you walk in and go all the way to the end of building width ways. Find out which one is open (green), then walk through the narrow walkway ( I have to turn sideways and shuffle down it; very narrow), The path of the lines remind me of the lines at airports where it twists and turns; doubling back on itself. Then you get to another twisty gate with a camera looking at you. The camera sees you, and then the people in the other room push a button that lets you turn the gate once so you get to the other side. Then you put your stuff, shoes, bags, belts, jackets, pocket inhabits on the belt to go through the xray machine, walk through the metal/bomb detector, there is now a booth with a soldier inside on your right. You can try to make eye contact and smile but they never look at you, they are looking at the monitor of the cameria that is looking at you. ;) Pick up your bags, shoes, jackets on your right, put it all back on, then follow everyone else through a maze of turns, arrive at a domesticated toll booth looking section at the other end of the building, show your passport to the soldier in the booth, (If your American, they don't even look at it, but for palestinians, they must put their hand on this 007 hand scanning machine and answer a couple questions). Then walk through a small turn gate like you see in a subway stations, and TADA, exit to your left through the big doors and start trying to negotiate prices with the 10 taxi drivers that are eagerly awaiting your arrival to the other side!
So, now that you know exactly what this place looks like through my incredible illustrative description, you would think it wouldn't be too hard to get through. After all, the first time I went through there was a crowd of people and I was with three other americans who had all been through before and it only took us like 5 minutes or so. Well, fast forward to the the next two times I went through the checkpoint.
Story 1.)
Walking across the border for the first time by yourself is nerve racking. I was heading from the Israel side to the Bethlehem side on Nakba day. Nakba day is a day of remembrance for the Palestinians in which they remember all those who died and/or lost their homes in the 1948 war between the Israelies and Palestinians. A week or less before Nakba day, was Israels Independence Day. According to an email I got from the US State Department the previous morning, all americans traveling abroad in the area of the West Bank and Israel should not travel outside their homes unless necessary and should be on alert for possible unpeaceful demonstations due to it being Nakba day. Fabulous! Well I needed to go to Bethlehem to surprise Emans youngest sister on her birthday so...I made a plan to meet someone on the other side as soon as I got there. It'll be alright.
When I woke up that morning I had heard from the news, (well someone translating the news for me) that there had been a terrorist attack in Tel Aviv where an Arab driver of a semi-truck went down the wrong way of the highway, weaving and smashing into oncoming cars purposefully, finally coming to a stop when it hit a bus. Hmmmm maybe this was an isolated incident, I thought.
[ Brief side note: past Nakba days have been peaceful, with peaceful protest here and there. Mostly its a day of mourning and rememberance for the Palestinians; however, with tensions rising both locally and the Middle East in general, this Nakba day was a violent one. It just another piece of evidence that shows how dangerous its getting here.]
As I'm taking a taxi to the border, I hear the news on the radio and every other word is Palestine, (it was in Hebrew) so I ask the taxi driver what the news was saying. In his really bad english, he told me there had been more attacks in Israel, on a train, and with a car, and on the borders. .....Well crap, I thought. I figured it would still be okay since I am meeting someone on the other side and I had already spent money on a taxi so ...I'm going! I was quite a bit nervous when we got to the checkpoint. He let me out on the Israel side of the border since he can't go through because he is an Israeli, I got my suitcase, and started walking toward the entrance of the checkpoint, noticing the unusually high presence of Israeli army soldiers, weapons, and HumV's. I was starting to regret my decision at this point, but was still not going to pay money to take a taxi back so I said a prayer for protection, and walked into the checkpoint building.
It was completely dead inside. I remembered that someone told me that Palestinians are not allowed through the checkpoints on this day; but that left me with a problem. Usually there was a crowd of people I could follow from one end to the other; otherwise, I had no idea where to turn and where not to turn.
All the signs were in arabic or hebrew, and there weren't any pictures to help a sister out either. So I walked down a hallway, got to a door, hesitantly pushed on it, half expecting an alarm to go off, but there wasn't an alarm and the door didn't open. I doubled back, trying to find someone who could point me in the right direction. It was like a maze in there. I got back to the beginning and asked the soldier which way to go. He casually pointed in a direction so I headed that way. However, when I got closer I saw that I had to go left or right. I turned back in his direction to get his attention, no luck. I peeked around one corner, not wanting to go in a restricted area, and then peeked around the other sides' corner. I stood there for a bit trying to decode the arabic and hebrew words thinking, "which sign looks less intimidating?" Instead I walked down two other hallways and got to either a dead end or a locked security gate; the whole time I was super embarrassed that as the soldiers are watching me via cameras wander around this place aimlessly and lost, I couldn't help but think they were doing ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS to see who would have to go get me. I headed back once again to the original soldier in the booth and asked him again which way. "Yamina! Yamina!" he said, which means right. so I headed out the building that I just entered through some cattle chute looking thing, then thank goodness there were no more options after that until I got to the area with the rotating gates. Now I had to try to figure out how to get my luggage through the upright turning security gate that is only big enought to fit my body and not both my body and luggage simultaneously. I think security got a kick out of watching me try four differnt methods until I figured out how to succesfully get both me and my bags to the other side. Here is how it worked: I would put my bag in an open section, then step back, forcefully rotate the metal pipes on the gate like it was the wheel of fortune. This would drag my bag to the opposite side, where in which I would squeeze my arm through the bars so that hopefully my finger tips could reach my bag and push it over. It would then land outside of the rotating gate allowing me to continue to rotate it a full 360 degrees back around and start over again with another piece of luggage. Keep in mind that security is watching me on cameras somewhere, pushing the green button that lets the gate rotate only once. This allows for an awkward moment of pushing your bag to the other side, getting ready to push another bag, realizing that the gate wont turn, and then stepping back to look in the camera with a "If its not a burden, could you push the button again" look, and then feeling like a dork when you push on it too soon and it still doesn't open for another ten seconds. HaHa. Yaaa checkpoints!!
After having to perform that maneuver at another three gates, I finally got to the other side of the checkpoint and into Bethlehem. It was peacefully quiet except for the 10 taxi drivers offering their service all at once. Bethlehem was really quiet, which is abnormal. It usually busy, noisy, lot of people everywhere, but today it was peaceful. I think maybe I expected riots and big crowds of people with everything that was going on that day; but there weren't any.
I've noticed that when it comes to the other side of the wall, whether it be Israel or Bethlehem, its usually completely different than what I'm told it will be like according to someone who isn't allowed there. (Israelis aren't allowed into Bethlehem, and most Palestinians are not allowed into Israel unless they have a pass.) As someone who is always going back and forth from one side of the wall to the other, I notice that I am always breaking assumptions that others make about the side that I just came from. Interesting......I think.
Story 2.)
With my two pieces of luggage in tow and my backpack on my...back...I am leaving Bethlehem where I stayed for a week with the family of one the palestinians who was part of SSE. Because I had never through this side of the checkpoint by myself, Eman and her mom used their passes to take me across. They only get passes a couple times a year that allows them to go to Israel. These passes were from Easter which allowed them to go to Israel for one day for religious reasons. They used them instead to get me across the checkpoint, but don't worry - these passes expired in a couple days and Easter had already passed so they were happy to use them to get me across. You've Gotta love arab hospitality! Anywhoo, after I go through the whole "getting the luggage through the gates one by one" adventure again, we arrive at the metal detector/ xray machine. I put my backpack on the belt and walk through the metal detector. As I walk through; however, the metal/explosives detector goes off. I stop mid-stride with my eyes as big as apples, hurry back to the other side, frantically check my pockets and body to see if I had any metal on. I didn't so I tried walking through again. BEEP BEEP BEEP!! I froze again and looked up at the cameras with a helpless look on my face. I was scared ninja soldier assasins were going to deploy out of secret compartments in the walls or something. I looked back at Eman and whispered, "What do I do?!" still in a frozen stance. She said, "Ask the guy in the booth." Oh there is a guy in a booth? Four more steps and I see to the right a soldier in the booth laughing waving his hand for me to pass through........Well I felt dumb. haha So I passed through and went to get my backpack and luggage off the belt. I grabbed my luggae but when I tried to pick my backpack up and swing it over my shoulder, I was instead pulled back toward the belt because the long strap on my backpack got caught in one of the rotating pieces of the belt. my strap had wrapped around the pipe in the conveyor belt and then lodged itself between the rotating piece and the side of the machine. Thank goodness no one was behind us because there was no way I could have worked on getting this out with people trying to reach for their items as well. So there I am, at the end of a xray machine, pulling like the dickens trying to get my strap out of the belt before more people came and needed to use the machine. I'm pulling and pulling but it was lodged in there good; not budging. The cameras around me felt like a stadium of people looking on as this rediculous American girl was doing something to the machine. The whole goal of the checkpoint is to move through and move through quickly. Now I probably look like I'm planting something in the machine, I thought. Frazzled, I turn to Eman and ask, "Do you have something sharp, like a knife to cut this?" And almost immediately I think, "really, Hannah? A knife? Ya she's gonna have a knife at a checkpoint!" After 5 minutes of pulling, pushing and pulling, standing on the machine and pulling some more, it finally came out. Red faced and triumphant, I put my backpack on while noticing the subtle " we're trying not to laugh but its really hard not to" smiles on the faces of Eman and her mom. Just wanting to move on to another section where there would be different cameras with different soldiers who had not yet become aware of my clumsiness, I followed eman through the maze to get to the other side where the last booth was.
There was a little bit of a line so I took the opportunity to get my passport out and ready for the guy at the booth. Standing patiently in line, getting lost in a daydream, I suddenly realized I was getting looks from the other Palestinians around me in line. First it was one, then two, then they were almost all snapping their heads so far in my direction I couldn't help but look bethind me to see what they were looking at. But behind me they were doing the same thing; looking at me. What is going on? I thought. Eman and her mom were in another line. "Crap, What did I do wrong? Who did I offend?" I was thinking. Right when everyone around me started moving away from me in all directions, I heard it. "beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep." Oh my gosh! What is that, I thought. It sounds like a bomb! Oh my gosh, there's a bomb in the checkpoint, I was thinking. It took about 2.5 seconds for my eyes to get big, a wave of panic to rush over me, and my ear to snap in the direction of the beeping sound before I realized.........OH MY GOSH! Its my catchphrase! I threw my bag off my shoulder, unzipped my suitcase, dug for the game, pulled it out and pushed the stop button. The game had accidentally turned on as I leaned against the wall. Now as I'm on my knees with my suitcase unzipped in the middle of the bethlehem checkpoint, I think to myself, its people like me isn't it! It's people like me that give everyone the ammunition to use the term, "Stupid American!" haha Way to let down your nation there, Hannah! I looked up at the Palestinian faces around me with a nervous laugh and said, "Oops, my bad! It's just a game," waiving it around so ppl could see, "Sorry." And with that, everyone turned right back around and continued in line, leaving me to put my suitcase back together. While I'm doing this and feeling mortified, Eman yells from another line, "Hannah, don't let them cut, you need to be assertive, Say something to them!" haha, she didn't realize what just happened. The rest of the way through the checkpoint, all 20 feet of it, was uneventful; thank goodness. I had almost had a heart attack on five different occasions in there. "Good thing you are a pale, blue eyed, blonde american," said eman, "That probably would have gone in a whole different direction if you were arab." All I could say at that point was, "True dat, Eman, True..Dat!" with a relieving sigh.
First I'll paint you a picture of the bethlehem checkpoint. To walk across the border, there are two stations you must pass through. So lets say we are coming from the bethlehem side going to the Israeli side. First you walk up a slight hill through things that look like cattle chutes but with a roof and random pieces of barb wire attached to the sides. Pieces of barbed wire that I am very aware of since I have a habit of tripping over air and falling into walls and doors. When you get to the top of this hill, there are a series of rotating gateways made out of metal piping with a green a red light on the top. If its green, then you can use it, but if its red, then the area on the other side is closed. So first, find the one that is greenly lit, walk through, show your passport to the soldier in the booth, walk through another spinning gate thing, walk across a randomly placed and unused road to another cattle chute (not an actual cattle chute, it just remind me of them). Walk through the cattle chute to another turny gate thing, following the path that turns downward, leading you into a hug mini costco sized building but with walls that are half the lenght of the total height of the building. There are five or six gates on your right hand side that start from where you walk in and go all the way to the end of building width ways. Find out which one is open (green), then walk through the narrow walkway ( I have to turn sideways and shuffle down it; very narrow), The path of the lines remind me of the lines at airports where it twists and turns; doubling back on itself. Then you get to another twisty gate with a camera looking at you. The camera sees you, and then the people in the other room push a button that lets you turn the gate once so you get to the other side. Then you put your stuff, shoes, bags, belts, jackets, pocket inhabits on the belt to go through the xray machine, walk through the metal/bomb detector, there is now a booth with a soldier inside on your right. You can try to make eye contact and smile but they never look at you, they are looking at the monitor of the cameria that is looking at you. ;) Pick up your bags, shoes, jackets on your right, put it all back on, then follow everyone else through a maze of turns, arrive at a domesticated toll booth looking section at the other end of the building, show your passport to the soldier in the booth, (If your American, they don't even look at it, but for palestinians, they must put their hand on this 007 hand scanning machine and answer a couple questions). Then walk through a small turn gate like you see in a subway stations, and TADA, exit to your left through the big doors and start trying to negotiate prices with the 10 taxi drivers that are eagerly awaiting your arrival to the other side!
So, now that you know exactly what this place looks like through my incredible illustrative description, you would think it wouldn't be too hard to get through. After all, the first time I went through there was a crowd of people and I was with three other americans who had all been through before and it only took us like 5 minutes or so. Well, fast forward to the the next two times I went through the checkpoint.
Story 1.)
Walking across the border for the first time by yourself is nerve racking. I was heading from the Israel side to the Bethlehem side on Nakba day. Nakba day is a day of remembrance for the Palestinians in which they remember all those who died and/or lost their homes in the 1948 war between the Israelies and Palestinians. A week or less before Nakba day, was Israels Independence Day. According to an email I got from the US State Department the previous morning, all americans traveling abroad in the area of the West Bank and Israel should not travel outside their homes unless necessary and should be on alert for possible unpeaceful demonstations due to it being Nakba day. Fabulous! Well I needed to go to Bethlehem to surprise Emans youngest sister on her birthday so...I made a plan to meet someone on the other side as soon as I got there. It'll be alright.
When I woke up that morning I had heard from the news, (well someone translating the news for me) that there had been a terrorist attack in Tel Aviv where an Arab driver of a semi-truck went down the wrong way of the highway, weaving and smashing into oncoming cars purposefully, finally coming to a stop when it hit a bus. Hmmmm maybe this was an isolated incident, I thought.
[ Brief side note: past Nakba days have been peaceful, with peaceful protest here and there. Mostly its a day of mourning and rememberance for the Palestinians; however, with tensions rising both locally and the Middle East in general, this Nakba day was a violent one. It just another piece of evidence that shows how dangerous its getting here.]
As I'm taking a taxi to the border, I hear the news on the radio and every other word is Palestine, (it was in Hebrew) so I ask the taxi driver what the news was saying. In his really bad english, he told me there had been more attacks in Israel, on a train, and with a car, and on the borders. .....Well crap, I thought. I figured it would still be okay since I am meeting someone on the other side and I had already spent money on a taxi so ...I'm going! I was quite a bit nervous when we got to the checkpoint. He let me out on the Israel side of the border since he can't go through because he is an Israeli, I got my suitcase, and started walking toward the entrance of the checkpoint, noticing the unusually high presence of Israeli army soldiers, weapons, and HumV's. I was starting to regret my decision at this point, but was still not going to pay money to take a taxi back so I said a prayer for protection, and walked into the checkpoint building.
It was completely dead inside. I remembered that someone told me that Palestinians are not allowed through the checkpoints on this day; but that left me with a problem. Usually there was a crowd of people I could follow from one end to the other; otherwise, I had no idea where to turn and where not to turn.
All the signs were in arabic or hebrew, and there weren't any pictures to help a sister out either. So I walked down a hallway, got to a door, hesitantly pushed on it, half expecting an alarm to go off, but there wasn't an alarm and the door didn't open. I doubled back, trying to find someone who could point me in the right direction. It was like a maze in there. I got back to the beginning and asked the soldier which way to go. He casually pointed in a direction so I headed that way. However, when I got closer I saw that I had to go left or right. I turned back in his direction to get his attention, no luck. I peeked around one corner, not wanting to go in a restricted area, and then peeked around the other sides' corner. I stood there for a bit trying to decode the arabic and hebrew words thinking, "which sign looks less intimidating?" Instead I walked down two other hallways and got to either a dead end or a locked security gate; the whole time I was super embarrassed that as the soldiers are watching me via cameras wander around this place aimlessly and lost, I couldn't help but think they were doing ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS to see who would have to go get me. I headed back once again to the original soldier in the booth and asked him again which way. "Yamina! Yamina!" he said, which means right. so I headed out the building that I just entered through some cattle chute looking thing, then thank goodness there were no more options after that until I got to the area with the rotating gates. Now I had to try to figure out how to get my luggage through the upright turning security gate that is only big enought to fit my body and not both my body and luggage simultaneously. I think security got a kick out of watching me try four differnt methods until I figured out how to succesfully get both me and my bags to the other side. Here is how it worked: I would put my bag in an open section, then step back, forcefully rotate the metal pipes on the gate like it was the wheel of fortune. This would drag my bag to the opposite side, where in which I would squeeze my arm through the bars so that hopefully my finger tips could reach my bag and push it over. It would then land outside of the rotating gate allowing me to continue to rotate it a full 360 degrees back around and start over again with another piece of luggage. Keep in mind that security is watching me on cameras somewhere, pushing the green button that lets the gate rotate only once. This allows for an awkward moment of pushing your bag to the other side, getting ready to push another bag, realizing that the gate wont turn, and then stepping back to look in the camera with a "If its not a burden, could you push the button again" look, and then feeling like a dork when you push on it too soon and it still doesn't open for another ten seconds. HaHa. Yaaa checkpoints!!
After having to perform that maneuver at another three gates, I finally got to the other side of the checkpoint and into Bethlehem. It was peacefully quiet except for the 10 taxi drivers offering their service all at once. Bethlehem was really quiet, which is abnormal. It usually busy, noisy, lot of people everywhere, but today it was peaceful. I think maybe I expected riots and big crowds of people with everything that was going on that day; but there weren't any.
I've noticed that when it comes to the other side of the wall, whether it be Israel or Bethlehem, its usually completely different than what I'm told it will be like according to someone who isn't allowed there. (Israelis aren't allowed into Bethlehem, and most Palestinians are not allowed into Israel unless they have a pass.) As someone who is always going back and forth from one side of the wall to the other, I notice that I am always breaking assumptions that others make about the side that I just came from. Interesting......I think.
Story 2.)
With my two pieces of luggage in tow and my backpack on my...back...I am leaving Bethlehem where I stayed for a week with the family of one the palestinians who was part of SSE. Because I had never through this side of the checkpoint by myself, Eman and her mom used their passes to take me across. They only get passes a couple times a year that allows them to go to Israel. These passes were from Easter which allowed them to go to Israel for one day for religious reasons. They used them instead to get me across the checkpoint, but don't worry - these passes expired in a couple days and Easter had already passed so they were happy to use them to get me across. You've Gotta love arab hospitality! Anywhoo, after I go through the whole "getting the luggage through the gates one by one" adventure again, we arrive at the metal detector/ xray machine. I put my backpack on the belt and walk through the metal detector. As I walk through; however, the metal/explosives detector goes off. I stop mid-stride with my eyes as big as apples, hurry back to the other side, frantically check my pockets and body to see if I had any metal on. I didn't so I tried walking through again. BEEP BEEP BEEP!! I froze again and looked up at the cameras with a helpless look on my face. I was scared ninja soldier assasins were going to deploy out of secret compartments in the walls or something. I looked back at Eman and whispered, "What do I do?!" still in a frozen stance. She said, "Ask the guy in the booth." Oh there is a guy in a booth? Four more steps and I see to the right a soldier in the booth laughing waving his hand for me to pass through........Well I felt dumb. haha So I passed through and went to get my backpack and luggage off the belt. I grabbed my luggae but when I tried to pick my backpack up and swing it over my shoulder, I was instead pulled back toward the belt because the long strap on my backpack got caught in one of the rotating pieces of the belt. my strap had wrapped around the pipe in the conveyor belt and then lodged itself between the rotating piece and the side of the machine. Thank goodness no one was behind us because there was no way I could have worked on getting this out with people trying to reach for their items as well. So there I am, at the end of a xray machine, pulling like the dickens trying to get my strap out of the belt before more people came and needed to use the machine. I'm pulling and pulling but it was lodged in there good; not budging. The cameras around me felt like a stadium of people looking on as this rediculous American girl was doing something to the machine. The whole goal of the checkpoint is to move through and move through quickly. Now I probably look like I'm planting something in the machine, I thought. Frazzled, I turn to Eman and ask, "Do you have something sharp, like a knife to cut this?" And almost immediately I think, "really, Hannah? A knife? Ya she's gonna have a knife at a checkpoint!" After 5 minutes of pulling, pushing and pulling, standing on the machine and pulling some more, it finally came out. Red faced and triumphant, I put my backpack on while noticing the subtle " we're trying not to laugh but its really hard not to" smiles on the faces of Eman and her mom. Just wanting to move on to another section where there would be different cameras with different soldiers who had not yet become aware of my clumsiness, I followed eman through the maze to get to the other side where the last booth was.
There was a little bit of a line so I took the opportunity to get my passport out and ready for the guy at the booth. Standing patiently in line, getting lost in a daydream, I suddenly realized I was getting looks from the other Palestinians around me in line. First it was one, then two, then they were almost all snapping their heads so far in my direction I couldn't help but look bethind me to see what they were looking at. But behind me they were doing the same thing; looking at me. What is going on? I thought. Eman and her mom were in another line. "Crap, What did I do wrong? Who did I offend?" I was thinking. Right when everyone around me started moving away from me in all directions, I heard it. "beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep." Oh my gosh! What is that, I thought. It sounds like a bomb! Oh my gosh, there's a bomb in the checkpoint, I was thinking. It took about 2.5 seconds for my eyes to get big, a wave of panic to rush over me, and my ear to snap in the direction of the beeping sound before I realized.........OH MY GOSH! Its my catchphrase! I threw my bag off my shoulder, unzipped my suitcase, dug for the game, pulled it out and pushed the stop button. The game had accidentally turned on as I leaned against the wall. Now as I'm on my knees with my suitcase unzipped in the middle of the bethlehem checkpoint, I think to myself, its people like me isn't it! It's people like me that give everyone the ammunition to use the term, "Stupid American!" haha Way to let down your nation there, Hannah! I looked up at the Palestinian faces around me with a nervous laugh and said, "Oops, my bad! It's just a game," waiving it around so ppl could see, "Sorry." And with that, everyone turned right back around and continued in line, leaving me to put my suitcase back together. While I'm doing this and feeling mortified, Eman yells from another line, "Hannah, don't let them cut, you need to be assertive, Say something to them!" haha, she didn't realize what just happened. The rest of the way through the checkpoint, all 20 feet of it, was uneventful; thank goodness. I had almost had a heart attack on five different occasions in there. "Good thing you are a pale, blue eyed, blonde american," said eman, "That probably would have gone in a whole different direction if you were arab." All I could say at that point was, "True dat, Eman, True..Dat!" with a relieving sigh.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Pick a Side
There has been much anticipation about this particular blog; not just from those of you who are supporting me in this process, and not just from members of Chapel Hill who are interested in how the Sound and Sand Encounter part 2 went, but also, from me. My own heart. I am very curious to see the end result of this blog entry about the desert. I have processed the trip to a point, but I still have a lot of mixed emotions swirling around in me so it should be interesting to see what conclusions this leads me to.
For those of you who don't know about what Sound and Sand is, let me rock your world real fast. Our church inGig Harbor , WA partnered with a ministry in Jerusalem Israel , Palestine , and America Puget Sound . The second part, Sand, was in the Wadi Rum desert this last April in Jordan
From the time of the last SSE Encounter in August to this April, I have been sweating bullets about many things, but probably in my top 10 was this trip to the desert and the haunting words of Tanas Alqassis, one of the Palestinian leaders. Last August, we were hiking up the most ridiculously steep trail at a place called Paradise Trail onMt. Rainier
I made it to the to; did a small victory dance......in my head of course since my legs were no longer responding to the neurological messages sent from my brain to my lower body. Of course I am dramatizing the situation, I was the last one up the mountain, but still kicked butt and if we are counting who got where first, you'd be happy to know I cam in 1st place on the way back down; Oh ya...gravity finally was on my side! But what Tanas had said to me on the mountain was more prophetic than even he knew. I spent the majority of the time between that moment and our hike in the desert worrying about surviving the future Wadi Rum. What if no matter how much water I drank, I still died of heat stroke? haha But really, I was told I was going to be the designated medical person on the trip, so if I keeled over, then I would be SOL. (which isn't true since everyone who's been in the Israeli army AKA the majority of the Israeli young adults, have all had medical training.) All in all, the August trip was amazing! I had never felt closer to God than at that time. I saw so many amazing bonding moments between us all that occurred largely because we had Christ in common.
Before the first encounter when I would talk about SSE, Musalaha and our mission to bring Palestinians and Israelis together in peaceful relation, many would give me a pat on the shoulder, maybe even a roll of their eyes and finish it off with a smirking, "Good Luck!" Another popular reaction from people was to respond by telling me what "side" they were on and why.
I would hear from:
Christians who were Pro-Israel who would tell me why they were againstPalestine
-God says in the bible that the land belongs to the Jews. Everyone else can get out.
- Because all the Palestinians are Muslims and want to pushIsrael
- Because the Arab countries are terrorists; the same kind that caused 9/11
- They have to protect themselves from suicide bombers waging jihad. We don’t' negotiate with terrorists.
Christians who were Pro-Palestine and would tell me why they were againstIsrael
- Because the Jews pushed the Palestinians off their land, from their homes
- Because the Jews have more power than the Palestinians and abuse and murder them for no reason
-The Jews and Arabs used to live together peacefully, but Jews are greedy and want it all to themselves. - The Jews are doing to the Palestinians what the Nazis did to them in the Holocaust
These are not my opinions, rather the things I was hearing from American Christians before SSE even started. Of course, I also heard lots of encouragement as well from people who were excited to see what God would do with this group.
To tell you the truth, I didn't even know what to expect or what would happen. It wasn't until I witnessed it, until I was a part of building those relationships. Miracles happened, and I didn't even recognize how monumentous they were until after this second half of SSE.
The first encounter, God used me many times. That was the most significant experience I took away from SSE part 1. Sure it was cool that two groups, who didn't get along before, now get along. Hey! Cool beans, right? But really, how hard could it be to make friends with someone else. Like I said earlier, I couldn't even comprehend the significance of forming these relationships until I came here, toIsrael and Palestine
Here is where it started:
The first week was geared toward educating us (the Americans Young Adults) about the conflict, cultures, and religions of the region. We went to a refugee camp, toured around, saw the wall, heard a presentation from a couple of the guys who grew up there, we toured around Bethlehem, Ramallah, Jerusalem and saw some holy sites, historical sites, and interacted with the people. All the while, I was conflicted inside with everything that I had heard from other Christians before I came.
Some told me that "the Palestinians would say anything to make the foreigners feel sorry for them and take their side. They will tell you stories of victimization to make you feel sorry for them. Don't believe them. They are lies."
I saw the refugee camps, the poverty in them. The people told me stories just like I was warned they would. They told us that the Israeli army comes into their homes at night and takes their boys to prison, that the soldiers on the wall will just start shooting at them unprovoked, about how they will mock and tease them at checkpoints making them make faces or get undressed in public. But the problem is here - how can so many people make up the same story? Why would a whole community live in poverty just to fool some foreigners? There is something to experiencing a conversation yourself. You can look at body language, tone of voice, and overall impression of the person which gives you an idea of the truth to that person’s statement. I saw truth in some of their stories.
Before I left I was also told by some American Christians that "Israel
But if that were true then the rest of the world would know about it and wouldn't allow it. I know and trust the word of the young Israeli adults who are part of SSE, who have served in the army. They wouldn't do that. They are obviously friends with 9 other Arab Christians, so obviously they don’t' hate them. I walked through the checkpoints and didn’t' see any Arabs get hassled. If anything I got hassled more than with Israeli security than the Palestinians. (Probably because I looked lost most the times.) But I did see how families were separated on each side of the wall. I saw the scar from a bullet on the shoulder of a Palestinian who was giving a presentation. I went through the Israeli checkpoints INSIDE the west bank not just on their borders. I saw the Jewish settlements on the tops of hills within the west bank agreed upon territory. They were like little barbed wire encased housing developments surrounded by Arab towns and houses in theWest Bank . So what do I believe?
This is when SSE part 2 started for me.
During this time I witnessed truth, pain, anger, lies, pride etc. and I was trying to make sense of it all. I was trying to find truth. All of a sudden I had a war going on within me. I felt the need to pick a side. With all of these injustices, human rights violations, murder, and corrupt world organizations that I was hearing about, I felt sick in side. Who was telling the truth? Who was lying? Both sides can't be right? God, where do you fit into all of this? Why do I feel like I need to pick a side? How can I stay neutral? I saw a struggle within other Americans as well. I wasn't the only one grappling. But I have 9 close Palestinians friends and I have 9 close Israeli friends. How do they get along?
All of a sudden, I am realizing how miraculous the formations of those cross cultural relationships were that last August. I am trying to think back to that time and remember, how did they become friends? How did they learn to love one another? If this is how it really is over here, then how? I wanted to learn. I didn't know what was truth and what was fiction. I wanted to be mad at someone, but whom? One minute, my heart is telling me to be mad atIsrael Israel Israel Palestine Israel Jerusalem Israel was doing FIVE MINUTES LATER...I'm mad at Palestine Palestine and Israel
Keep in mind that the desert portion hasn't happened yet. This was only the first week. Though we have seen a few people here and there, we hadn't had the opportunity to meet up with the whole SSE group yet.
As we are headed toJordan
Our roles as Americans at this point, were tools for God to use. According to both the Israeli and Palestinian participants and Musalaha leadership, we were the catalysts and mediators. That was our job in the first SSE, and it was God who used us this way. For the most part, we didn't even know how we contributed until the debriefing post SSE part 1 when we received that feedback. Musalaha leaders said that they had never seen relationships between the groups form so quickly and that adding a third party (Americans) allowed that to happen. We gained some solid relationships with amazing believers, but we didn't really have anything to reconcile. We didn't even know we were part of the conflict at this point.
So what was significant about the Sand Encounter? Everyone wants to know, including me. :) It seemed as if so many amazing things happened last August with this group, but I didn't see it right away after the conclusion of this Encounter. I knew it wasn't a waste, but it seemed sort of anticlimactic compared to the immediate awesomeness of the first Encounter. But I figured it out.
SSE part two was the time for the Americans to grapple and reconcile with the conflict and this time, the Israelis and Palestinians were the mediators for us. For me, that's what the desert was about, our true reconciliation. After the first week here, I didn't know what reconciliation looked like for the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. I knew that I was there in August, I saw it happen, and I thought I was part of it, so why could I not do it right now in my heart?
I couldn't wait to get to the desert! I need to talk to my friends. What is true? What is false? How did you reconcile? I want to know?
When we got to the desert, I started asking. Not at first. Of course I hadn't seen my friends in 8 months and I wanted to hug them and know how their life was, who they were dating, how is school, and their family....you know all the important questions. :) But the restlessness within my spirit was still very strong. I have this unique opportunity to speak with people I TRUST, and ask them the questions that have been torturing me. One on one, I talked, I complained, I accused, I cried and they listened.
That was another miracle of August - that I could form relationships with 18+ strangers in two weeks that left me so comfortable with them, that I could go to any one of them in this emotional state and have hard conversations and we both walk away still loving and respecting each other.
I watched conversations between the Israelis and Palestinians more intently than I did before. I had such an awareness of their love for one another which left me praising God for how great He is. It is because of Him that these relationships are as loving and strong as they are. FLOURISHING AND STRONG!
I learned something profound from every SSE'er I talked to about my internal struggle to find the middle and to be free of the anger I had about the conflict and obscurity of the truth. In my conversations I learned some big things that were causing all this emotion for me.
1.) I was taking the sides of all the people back home who I talked to about this trip/conflict. It was like I took every person with me and was voicing their concerns/points/arguments. I would bring those points up in my conversations with my Israeli and Palestinian friends and by doing this I will be able to have accurate and informed discussion with them when I get back; although, it was exhausting to try to hold so many separate and conflicting truths and to keep them separate from my own questions.
2.) Another aspect that was preventing me from gaining any headway was that I was trying to put politics and God on the same level. Didn't work. Just because Christians don't agree on political issues back home, doesn’t' mean we are any less Christian. Anyway, I don’t' know how to word that to make sense, but moral is politics and God don't mix very well here either. Politics are of this world.
In a conversation with one of the male messianic Jews, I finally had a breakthrough moment as a result of his words. I had told him about a comment I had heard from a Palestinian in the refugee camp we visited. The Palestinian had accused Israeli soldiers of shooting at children for no reason; and I asked my Israeli friend if it was true? "Do soldiers really do that?" I asked. I was expecting him to deny this claim right off the bat, but instead he tells me, "I don't know." He said that there are so many lies on both sides and corruption that I don't know what to believe anymore.
I don't even know how to convey the impact that that statement had and still has on me. I DON'T KNOW. The series of thoughts that followed gave me that AHHHHHHH, sun beam shiny, light bulb turned ON, conflict and turmoil shattering moment in which I was just.........RELEASED.
As those words left his mouth in the back of a jeep somewhere in the Wadi Rum desert, they just silenced me as I retreated inward to think. He doesn't know? And he is okay with that? But he is an Israeli, so I was totally expecting unwavering denial of anything wrong doing, like I might do for my country, but instead he says, "I don't know?" And even though He doesn't know, He still loves the Palestinians Christians here with us. And then BAM, it hit me. To pick a side, to want to defend your country out of knowledge, pride, or ignorance; that is OF THIS WORLD. There is a truth, and it is Jesus. I do have to pick a side. I pick the side of Jesus. His side calls us to not conform to this world but of His world, His kingdom; where we are suppose to love; to above all else LOVE. It is not important that I know if what the Palestinian said was true but it’s important to know it is true for him in his life. It isn't important or necessary for me to find the truth. It is just so disheartening that most people hear a portion of the truth and hold it to be absolute. The best piece of information that I heard this whole trip, of course came at the end, was from Tanas....again. :) He told us, "Just because you are Pro-one side doesn't mean you are against the other."
It is important that our heart is for those oppressed the wounded, the poor, and the suffering AND it is just as important that our hearts be for the wicked, our enemies, the terrorists, the oppressors, and the people who rejoice in the hurt of others. My heart is for them because that is what we are called to do, so that everyone will know that we are different. This is what Jesus calls us to do. It is easy for me to love those who I feel have been wronged. But how hard is it for me to love those who cause the pain of millions of people? Well, its hard but its not impossibly hard when I remember that while Jesus was on the cross dying, being beaten, spit on, mocked, and tortured, He says, and “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do”. He LOVED the people who were killing him. It is hard for us to understand because that behavior is not of this world.
It is easy to pick out a bible verse and justify the mistreatment of a people. I'm not just talking about Palestinians and Israelis, but of any person or people that we as Christians harbor hatred toward or mistreat. It is worse I think for us as Christians than anyone else when we do these things because WE KNOW JESUS. We know what He tells us to do and yet most of us don't.
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." ( John 13:34-35)
What Tanas told me last August was true. Although climbing that mountain was really hard, it was nothing compared to the inner fight I had to go through to get to the point I'm at right now where I can say, “I don't know." I know that both sides are both wrong and right, and as for the details of trespasses, I don't know, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we love, that we are not Pro-Palestine or Pro-Israel but instead Pro-Jesus.
As far as prayer request go, I would like to add one.
Please pray for those who feel obligated to take a side or who feel like they must condemn one to back another.
If you are one of those people, pray about it, and try praying for the enemies in your life. It makes a huge difference trust me.
For those of you who don't know about what Sound and Sand is, let me rock your world real fast. Our church in
From the time of the last SSE Encounter in August to this April, I have been sweating bullets about many things, but probably in my top 10 was this trip to the desert and the haunting words of Tanas Alqassis, one of the Palestinian leaders. Last August, we were hiking up the most ridiculously steep trail at a place called Paradise Trail on
I made it to the to; did a small victory dance......in my head of course since my legs were no longer responding to the neurological messages sent from my brain to my lower body. Of course I am dramatizing the situation, I was the last one up the mountain, but still kicked butt and if we are counting who got where first, you'd be happy to know I cam in 1st place on the way back down; Oh ya...gravity finally was on my side! But what Tanas had said to me on the mountain was more prophetic than even he knew. I spent the majority of the time between that moment and our hike in the desert worrying about surviving the future Wadi Rum. What if no matter how much water I drank, I still died of heat stroke? haha But really, I was told I was going to be the designated medical person on the trip, so if I keeled over, then I would be SOL. (which isn't true since everyone who's been in the Israeli army AKA the majority of the Israeli young adults, have all had medical training.) All in all, the August trip was amazing! I had never felt closer to God than at that time. I saw so many amazing bonding moments between us all that occurred largely because we had Christ in common.
Before the first encounter when I would talk about SSE, Musalaha and our mission to bring Palestinians and Israelis together in peaceful relation, many would give me a pat on the shoulder, maybe even a roll of their eyes and finish it off with a smirking, "Good Luck!" Another popular reaction from people was to respond by telling me what "side" they were on and why.
I would hear from:
Christians who were Pro-Israel who would tell me why they were against
-God says in the bible that the land belongs to the Jews. Everyone else can get out.
- Because all the Palestinians are Muslims and want to push
- Because the Arab countries are terrorists; the same kind that caused 9/11
- They have to protect themselves from suicide bombers waging jihad. We don’t' negotiate with terrorists.
Christians who were Pro-Palestine and would tell me why they were against
- Because the Jews pushed the Palestinians off their land, from their homes
- Because the Jews have more power than the Palestinians and abuse and murder them for no reason
-The Jews and Arabs used to live together peacefully, but Jews are greedy and want it all to themselves. - The Jews are doing to the Palestinians what the Nazis did to them in the Holocaust
These are not my opinions, rather the things I was hearing from American Christians before SSE even started. Of course, I also heard lots of encouragement as well from people who were excited to see what God would do with this group.
To tell you the truth, I didn't even know what to expect or what would happen. It wasn't until I witnessed it, until I was a part of building those relationships. Miracles happened, and I didn't even recognize how monumentous they were until after this second half of SSE.
The first encounter, God used me many times. That was the most significant experience I took away from SSE part 1. Sure it was cool that two groups, who didn't get along before, now get along. Hey! Cool beans, right? But really, how hard could it be to make friends with someone else. Like I said earlier, I couldn't even comprehend the significance of forming these relationships until I came here, to
Here is where it started:
The first week was geared toward educating us (the Americans Young Adults) about the conflict, cultures, and religions of the region. We went to a refugee camp, toured around, saw the wall, heard a presentation from a couple of the guys who grew up there, we toured around Bethlehem, Ramallah, Jerusalem and saw some holy sites, historical sites, and interacted with the people. All the while, I was conflicted inside with everything that I had heard from other Christians before I came.
Some told me that "the Palestinians would say anything to make the foreigners feel sorry for them and take their side. They will tell you stories of victimization to make you feel sorry for them. Don't believe them. They are lies."
I saw the refugee camps, the poverty in them. The people told me stories just like I was warned they would. They told us that the Israeli army comes into their homes at night and takes their boys to prison, that the soldiers on the wall will just start shooting at them unprovoked, about how they will mock and tease them at checkpoints making them make faces or get undressed in public. But the problem is here - how can so many people make up the same story? Why would a whole community live in poverty just to fool some foreigners? There is something to experiencing a conversation yourself. You can look at body language, tone of voice, and overall impression of the person which gives you an idea of the truth to that person’s statement. I saw truth in some of their stories.
Before I left I was also told by some American Christians that "
But if that were true then the rest of the world would know about it and wouldn't allow it. I know and trust the word of the young Israeli adults who are part of SSE, who have served in the army. They wouldn't do that. They are obviously friends with 9 other Arab Christians, so obviously they don’t' hate them. I walked through the checkpoints and didn’t' see any Arabs get hassled. If anything I got hassled more than with Israeli security than the Palestinians. (Probably because I looked lost most the times.) But I did see how families were separated on each side of the wall. I saw the scar from a bullet on the shoulder of a Palestinian who was giving a presentation. I went through the Israeli checkpoints INSIDE the west bank not just on their borders. I saw the Jewish settlements on the tops of hills within the west bank agreed upon territory. They were like little barbed wire encased housing developments surrounded by Arab towns and houses in the
This is when SSE part 2 started for me.
During this time I witnessed truth, pain, anger, lies, pride etc. and I was trying to make sense of it all. I was trying to find truth. All of a sudden I had a war going on within me. I felt the need to pick a side. With all of these injustices, human rights violations, murder, and corrupt world organizations that I was hearing about, I felt sick in side. Who was telling the truth? Who was lying? Both sides can't be right? God, where do you fit into all of this? Why do I feel like I need to pick a side? How can I stay neutral? I saw a struggle within other Americans as well. I wasn't the only one grappling. But I have 9 close Palestinians friends and I have 9 close Israeli friends. How do they get along?
All of a sudden, I am realizing how miraculous the formations of those cross cultural relationships were that last August. I am trying to think back to that time and remember, how did they become friends? How did they learn to love one another? If this is how it really is over here, then how? I wanted to learn. I didn't know what was truth and what was fiction. I wanted to be mad at someone, but whom? One minute, my heart is telling me to be mad at
Keep in mind that the desert portion hasn't happened yet. This was only the first week. Though we have seen a few people here and there, we hadn't had the opportunity to meet up with the whole SSE group yet.
As we are headed to
Our roles as Americans at this point, were tools for God to use. According to both the Israeli and Palestinian participants and Musalaha leadership, we were the catalysts and mediators. That was our job in the first SSE, and it was God who used us this way. For the most part, we didn't even know how we contributed until the debriefing post SSE part 1 when we received that feedback. Musalaha leaders said that they had never seen relationships between the groups form so quickly and that adding a third party (Americans) allowed that to happen. We gained some solid relationships with amazing believers, but we didn't really have anything to reconcile. We didn't even know we were part of the conflict at this point.
So what was significant about the Sand Encounter? Everyone wants to know, including me. :) It seemed as if so many amazing things happened last August with this group, but I didn't see it right away after the conclusion of this Encounter. I knew it wasn't a waste, but it seemed sort of anticlimactic compared to the immediate awesomeness of the first Encounter. But I figured it out.
SSE part two was the time for the Americans to grapple and reconcile with the conflict and this time, the Israelis and Palestinians were the mediators for us. For me, that's what the desert was about, our true reconciliation. After the first week here, I didn't know what reconciliation looked like for the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. I knew that I was there in August, I saw it happen, and I thought I was part of it, so why could I not do it right now in my heart?
I couldn't wait to get to the desert! I need to talk to my friends. What is true? What is false? How did you reconcile? I want to know?
When we got to the desert, I started asking. Not at first. Of course I hadn't seen my friends in 8 months and I wanted to hug them and know how their life was, who they were dating, how is school, and their family....you know all the important questions. :) But the restlessness within my spirit was still very strong. I have this unique opportunity to speak with people I TRUST, and ask them the questions that have been torturing me. One on one, I talked, I complained, I accused, I cried and they listened.
That was another miracle of August - that I could form relationships with 18+ strangers in two weeks that left me so comfortable with them, that I could go to any one of them in this emotional state and have hard conversations and we both walk away still loving and respecting each other.
I watched conversations between the Israelis and Palestinians more intently than I did before. I had such an awareness of their love for one another which left me praising God for how great He is. It is because of Him that these relationships are as loving and strong as they are. FLOURISHING AND STRONG!
I learned something profound from every SSE'er I talked to about my internal struggle to find the middle and to be free of the anger I had about the conflict and obscurity of the truth. In my conversations I learned some big things that were causing all this emotion for me.
1.) I was taking the sides of all the people back home who I talked to about this trip/conflict. It was like I took every person with me and was voicing their concerns/points/arguments. I would bring those points up in my conversations with my Israeli and Palestinian friends and by doing this I will be able to have accurate and informed discussion with them when I get back; although, it was exhausting to try to hold so many separate and conflicting truths and to keep them separate from my own questions.
2.) Another aspect that was preventing me from gaining any headway was that I was trying to put politics and God on the same level. Didn't work. Just because Christians don't agree on political issues back home, doesn’t' mean we are any less Christian. Anyway, I don’t' know how to word that to make sense, but moral is politics and God don't mix very well here either. Politics are of this world.
In a conversation with one of the male messianic Jews, I finally had a breakthrough moment as a result of his words. I had told him about a comment I had heard from a Palestinian in the refugee camp we visited. The Palestinian had accused Israeli soldiers of shooting at children for no reason; and I asked my Israeli friend if it was true? "Do soldiers really do that?" I asked. I was expecting him to deny this claim right off the bat, but instead he tells me, "I don't know." He said that there are so many lies on both sides and corruption that I don't know what to believe anymore.
I don't even know how to convey the impact that that statement had and still has on me. I DON'T KNOW. The series of thoughts that followed gave me that AHHHHHHH, sun beam shiny, light bulb turned ON, conflict and turmoil shattering moment in which I was just.........RELEASED.
As those words left his mouth in the back of a jeep somewhere in the Wadi Rum desert, they just silenced me as I retreated inward to think. He doesn't know? And he is okay with that? But he is an Israeli, so I was totally expecting unwavering denial of anything wrong doing, like I might do for my country, but instead he says, "I don't know?" And even though He doesn't know, He still loves the Palestinians Christians here with us. And then BAM, it hit me. To pick a side, to want to defend your country out of knowledge, pride, or ignorance; that is OF THIS WORLD. There is a truth, and it is Jesus. I do have to pick a side. I pick the side of Jesus. His side calls us to not conform to this world but of His world, His kingdom; where we are suppose to love; to above all else LOVE. It is not important that I know if what the Palestinian said was true but it’s important to know it is true for him in his life. It isn't important or necessary for me to find the truth. It is just so disheartening that most people hear a portion of the truth and hold it to be absolute. The best piece of information that I heard this whole trip, of course came at the end, was from Tanas....again. :) He told us, "Just because you are Pro-one side doesn't mean you are against the other."
It is important that our heart is for those oppressed the wounded, the poor, and the suffering AND it is just as important that our hearts be for the wicked, our enemies, the terrorists, the oppressors, and the people who rejoice in the hurt of others. My heart is for them because that is what we are called to do, so that everyone will know that we are different. This is what Jesus calls us to do. It is easy for me to love those who I feel have been wronged. But how hard is it for me to love those who cause the pain of millions of people? Well, its hard but its not impossibly hard when I remember that while Jesus was on the cross dying, being beaten, spit on, mocked, and tortured, He says, and “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do”. He LOVED the people who were killing him. It is hard for us to understand because that behavior is not of this world.
It is easy to pick out a bible verse and justify the mistreatment of a people. I'm not just talking about Palestinians and Israelis, but of any person or people that we as Christians harbor hatred toward or mistreat. It is worse I think for us as Christians than anyone else when we do these things because WE KNOW JESUS. We know what He tells us to do and yet most of us don't.
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." ( John 13:34-35)
What Tanas told me last August was true. Although climbing that mountain was really hard, it was nothing compared to the inner fight I had to go through to get to the point I'm at right now where I can say, “I don't know." I know that both sides are both wrong and right, and as for the details of trespasses, I don't know, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we love, that we are not Pro-Palestine or Pro-Israel but instead Pro-Jesus.
As far as prayer request go, I would like to add one.
Please pray for those who feel obligated to take a side or who feel like they must condemn one to back another.
If you are one of those people, pray about it, and try praying for the enemies in your life. It makes a huge difference trust me.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
God in the Sky
I was done with all the things I had to do that day, shopped for all the supplies I would need for the trip, got gifts for the families I would be staying with, and finished teaching an evening CPR class for my dentists office. I was exhausted and I knew that I still had to pack everything! It was midnight, and I wanted so much to go to sleep, but I had to leave for the airport in five hours. I had been nervouse all week but I couldn't quite figure out why. Yes, I was about to leave for a 3 month trip to the middle east, not quite sure of where I would be volunteering, and not having the details worked out about how long I would be staying in certain places; but that didn't bother me too much. I had this ball of anxiety, nervousness, and fear that had been inside my chest all week, but at this moment, it was almost paralysing. Why was I so nervouse about this trip, I kept asking myself. What am I afraid of? It was like that moment when you are on something really high, about to jump off in the water. You are excited about the jump, but you have to fight with yourself to take the leap.
With the help of my amazing, world's-best mother - I was packed in a couple hours with just enough time to sleep for 3 hours. I had the worst dreams that night. I can't remember what they were about, but I know that when my alarm went off three hours later, my nervousness was so intense that I literally threw up. My fears were starting to take form.
1.) What if a war breaks out while I'm there?
That wasn't it. I wasn't really afraid of that - don't ask me why, I don't know; but I do know that wasn't it.
2.) What if I run out of money before my return flight home?
That wasn't it either. God had totally provided me with enough funds just in the last two weeks before I left, with the contributions from family members, friends, and even more requests to teach classes - I reached my financial goal for this trip.
I kept thinking of more and more reasons that would explain this rare reaction from me, and then I hit it right on the head.
What if I spend three months twiddling my thumbs because I have nothing to do? That was it. What if I don't have opportunities to volunteer and serve God, or what if I don't learn anything about God while I am there? What if I just end up taking by living at peoples homes and not giving anything in return because there aren't any opportunities for me? Then this would look like a vacation, and I would disapoint all the people who are supporting me?
Haha. Welcome to my mind this early tuesday morning. I eventually started feeling better as I prayed for peace and talked to God about my concerns. I later realized when talking to the other americans, that many of them had that same attack just before leaving. Not for the same concerns that I had, but it was a scary, fear filled, I almost don't want to go feeling of negative emotions that overtook some of us, but praise God, we all came anyway, and how thankful we are to have obeyed what our hearts told us, and not our emotions.
Fast forward to the airport. Jessie Erickson and I travel through baggage check, security, and eventually our gate all the while randomly looking at each other with big, huge eyes and mouthing, "I can't believe we are going to Israel; I'm so excited!"
Now fast forward to the flights. Those worries of mine were still present, but I was filled with excitement, joy, and anticipation. Every so often, I would say a little prayer telling God that I was afraid of not having anything to contribute, and asking Him to provide opportunities for me on this trip, and to help me recongnize those opportunities when they arose.
And here is where the cool story begins:
We were two hours in on a four hour flight from Seattle to Philidelphia. When we land in Phili, we would have a four hour layover then hop a 10 hour flight to Tel Aviv. I was a little bit hungry so when the flight attendants came around for drinks, I also asked for some pretzels or nuts, but when they informed me that those snacks cost money, I declined and decided to suck it up for the next two hours. I got up to go to the bathroom in the back, and after I knocked my head and shoulders on all four walls of the lavatory trying to maneuver around in the rediculously small space, I exited and just stayed standing up in the back of the plane. There was still a big line of people so I pretended I was waiting in line so I could stand up for a long period of time. Plane seats are not made for comfort if your are over 5'11....aka me. As the line of people to the bathroom began to fade, I figured I would need a new excuse to be standing up in the area where the flight attendents hung out so I started to chat with one. A gift my dad taught me, you can talk to anyone, the key is just finding something you have in common, and just go off of that.
I talked to her about the lifestyle of a flight attendant, where she is based out of, how long does she have to work, etc. and at one point it came up that I was an EMT. She joking said, "Oh good, now we know to come get you if we have a medical emergency on this flight." Now if you know me at all, you know medicine, first aid, and injured people intrigue me very much. So then started my plethera of questions about, well what does happen when you have medical problems on board, do you have to land right away, whats the worst medical situation you've had to deal with in the past, etc. lol :) At this point, I have three flight attendants back there telling me stories and laughing it up in the back of the plane. Good times. They pretty much told me they have all the equipment on board, from oxygen to AED's and IV kits; and that usually if there isn't anyone on board they have to call the doctor in phoenix, where they are based out of, for instruction on what to do; but they are uncomfortable handling it themselves because they have only been given a class on how to do CPR and use an AED if needed.
So we keep talking about random things, where their headed to next, have they seen flight plan the movie, is there an air marshall on board (they wouldn't tell me) etc. when all of a sudden, a woman who is heading back to the bathrooms right by us and hits the deck, right at our feet, BOOM, unconscious! The flight attendants all looked at me.
Lets all keep in mind that I just passed my national certification for being an EMT like two days before this flight.
I went straight into EMT mode, checking for consciousness while the flight attendants tried to stop the passengers who were in the lavatory, (on either side of this woman) from opening their doors because everytime they did, they kept hitting the womans shoulders; which confused them and so they pushed harder; so the flight attendants are trying to put their lips between the one inch gaps of the door opening to tell the people to hold on. ---Its kind of funny to think about it now, because they were not actually hurting her, but they were so confused.
So I dragged her back to open area where we were standing, and she started to come to. I barely got her to thh back when I overheard the flight attendant on the phone with the captain saying, "We have an unconcsious woman back here, but don't worry we have an EMT with her." haha Long story short, 45 minutes later after some oxygen, orange juice and crackers, she was alert and finally able to stand up by herself, and her vitals were remarkably improved from the almost unpalpable pulse and semi conscious state she was initially in. She requested that a paramedic check her out when we landed in Phili, so the flight attendants arranged that. Note to everyone, do not sit down on a plane for 2 hours straight after not eating for a whole day and then stand up all of a sudden. :)
We got her back to her seat, she was just fine, able to stand on her own, she got some juice and crackers in her system....good stuff. I had to fill out some paperwork per airline policy, and as I finished and was about to head back to my seat, the flight attendant that I first started talking to originally, asks me, "Hannah, are you hungry? Cuz we're gonna hook you up, girl!" haha I felt embarrased for accepting stuff for helping out so I politely declined, but that didn't work at all. She opened up those big metal cabinets back where we were, and started pulling stuff out. "Here do you like crackers, here are some crackers and some nuts, and pringles...., you want some alcohol?" "Ugh...no thanks," I started but was quickly cut off with, "oh ya thats right, you are about to hike in the desert. You don't need alcohol, here is some water." She pulled out the biggest water bottle I've seen. She then realized I couldn't carry all this sftuff back to my seat, so she started putting it all in a bag. Then the other flight attendant comes to the back and asks me that same thing, you hungry? You can have anything you want now." lol "That's what I'm doing," the other flight attendant said. So the second flight attendant starting putting Sky Mall products in the bag.
Oh my gosh, was I embarrased! An hour ago I couldn't even get a bag of nuts without paying, and now I have a whole tin of nuts, salami, cheese, and trail mix. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAD THOSE THINGS ON A FLIGHT! haha I went back to sit down in my seat with my bag of food and sky mall products, and I look back at Jessie who is two rows behind me giving me the most confused look in the world. HaHa...what an amazing flight, I was thinking. I love medical emergencies! We only had 30 more minutes til we landed, and as the flight attendants went around one last time to give passengers drinks, they got to my aisle to take drinks orders, started asking everyone around me in their stereotypical flight attendant voice, "Anything to drink? And for you anthying to drink, And for you.....and then when they got to me, "Hannah, what about you darling, can we get anything for you?" Would you like another water bottle to take with you?" At this point everyone around me is looking at me like, who is she? haha a little bit embarrassing, but not as much as when they came back with a box with 12 different snacks inside and said, "Here, this is for your friends, in case they get hungry you can share." I looked back at Jessie once again who had the OMG shocked smile on her face like what is going on? haha With all the stuff they gave me, it literally counted as another carry on item lol.
Another funny part to the story, as we landed we were met at the gate with like 3 cop cars, 2 fire engines, and an ambulance. Then I hear over the loud speaker, "Hannah, can you please come to the front, Hannah, please make your way to the front." HaHA. I knew they wanted me to talk to the paramedics, so as I am walking I am racking my brain trying to remember how to give report, something we learn in EMT class.
And that's pretty much it. When we get off the flight and get thank you's from all the crew members and captain, I was like on cloud 9! I told Jessie all about what happened in the back of the plane, and as I'm telling my story, the flight attendants walk out of the gate and yell, "Hannah, whoo! come with us to Vegas!" (which is where their next flight was going) Jessie and I were laughing really hard.
HERE'S THE COOL PART!
As Jessie and I are walking to our next gate and I'm telling her all the exciting details like an excited 5 year old, I literally stopped, and said oh my gosh. Jessie said, "What?" I said, " Remember what I was talking to you about before that flight, how I was so nervouse this morning that I wouldn't have a purpose on this trip? I've been praying that God give me peace and opportunities, and LOOK WHAT JUST HAPPENED!"
Now, I'm not saying that God made someone pass out to give me a little encouragement for this trip; but he let me be on a flight where there was going to be a medical emergency; and even if I still found it to be a coincidence, SHE PASSED OUT AT MY FEET! God was giving me encouragement and telling me, You have a purpose, here is some foreshadowing for you!" haha How Cool?! I haven't questioned anything about this trip since. I have just trusted that God has these three months planned out for me, and he totally does. I will talk about it in another blog, but its almost as if I landed, and had an itenierary made up for before I got here. The opportunities that are popping up for me to serve are amazing!
Thank you all for praying for me! It is very obvious that you have. Please keep praying. I have met some people along the way who have shown me some beautiful hearts and some prayer needs. So if you could pray for some of these following things, we would be very thankful.
1.) The mother of one homes I am staying in works at a places called Jamima. A christian organization that serves the needs of special needs kids in Bethlehem, working with the kids and young adults during the days on rehabilitation, teaching them life skills, praying with/for them, and helping their families as well. I visited the place and was able to see so many beautiful children with a variety of different mental disabilities. Jamima is in a tough financial situation, so please pray that God will bless them. The majority of the kids and their families are muslim, yet the organization is Christian - and the staff use this connection to the kids and their families to minister to them when they have the opportunity.
2.) Please pray for the Middle East, that the people can turn their hearts towards Jesus. Just because it sounds impossible, doesn't mean you can't pray for it because through Christ, all things are possible.
3.) Please pray that I continue to serve the Lord in all the ways/opportunities that He has for me here, that He continues to become more and more real to me than He ever has before, and that I am in tune with His will.
I think you can comment on these blogs, not sure since this is my first blog ever, but I would love to hear from ya'll. Thank you for you prayers and contributions!
Shalom!
With the help of my amazing, world's-best mother - I was packed in a couple hours with just enough time to sleep for 3 hours. I had the worst dreams that night. I can't remember what they were about, but I know that when my alarm went off three hours later, my nervousness was so intense that I literally threw up. My fears were starting to take form.
1.) What if a war breaks out while I'm there?
That wasn't it. I wasn't really afraid of that - don't ask me why, I don't know; but I do know that wasn't it.
2.) What if I run out of money before my return flight home?
That wasn't it either. God had totally provided me with enough funds just in the last two weeks before I left, with the contributions from family members, friends, and even more requests to teach classes - I reached my financial goal for this trip.
I kept thinking of more and more reasons that would explain this rare reaction from me, and then I hit it right on the head.
What if I spend three months twiddling my thumbs because I have nothing to do? That was it. What if I don't have opportunities to volunteer and serve God, or what if I don't learn anything about God while I am there? What if I just end up taking by living at peoples homes and not giving anything in return because there aren't any opportunities for me? Then this would look like a vacation, and I would disapoint all the people who are supporting me?
Haha. Welcome to my mind this early tuesday morning. I eventually started feeling better as I prayed for peace and talked to God about my concerns. I later realized when talking to the other americans, that many of them had that same attack just before leaving. Not for the same concerns that I had, but it was a scary, fear filled, I almost don't want to go feeling of negative emotions that overtook some of us, but praise God, we all came anyway, and how thankful we are to have obeyed what our hearts told us, and not our emotions.
Fast forward to the airport. Jessie Erickson and I travel through baggage check, security, and eventually our gate all the while randomly looking at each other with big, huge eyes and mouthing, "I can't believe we are going to Israel; I'm so excited!"
Now fast forward to the flights. Those worries of mine were still present, but I was filled with excitement, joy, and anticipation. Every so often, I would say a little prayer telling God that I was afraid of not having anything to contribute, and asking Him to provide opportunities for me on this trip, and to help me recongnize those opportunities when they arose.
And here is where the cool story begins:
We were two hours in on a four hour flight from Seattle to Philidelphia. When we land in Phili, we would have a four hour layover then hop a 10 hour flight to Tel Aviv. I was a little bit hungry so when the flight attendants came around for drinks, I also asked for some pretzels or nuts, but when they informed me that those snacks cost money, I declined and decided to suck it up for the next two hours. I got up to go to the bathroom in the back, and after I knocked my head and shoulders on all four walls of the lavatory trying to maneuver around in the rediculously small space, I exited and just stayed standing up in the back of the plane. There was still a big line of people so I pretended I was waiting in line so I could stand up for a long period of time. Plane seats are not made for comfort if your are over 5'11....aka me. As the line of people to the bathroom began to fade, I figured I would need a new excuse to be standing up in the area where the flight attendents hung out so I started to chat with one. A gift my dad taught me, you can talk to anyone, the key is just finding something you have in common, and just go off of that.
I talked to her about the lifestyle of a flight attendant, where she is based out of, how long does she have to work, etc. and at one point it came up that I was an EMT. She joking said, "Oh good, now we know to come get you if we have a medical emergency on this flight." Now if you know me at all, you know medicine, first aid, and injured people intrigue me very much. So then started my plethera of questions about, well what does happen when you have medical problems on board, do you have to land right away, whats the worst medical situation you've had to deal with in the past, etc. lol :) At this point, I have three flight attendants back there telling me stories and laughing it up in the back of the plane. Good times. They pretty much told me they have all the equipment on board, from oxygen to AED's and IV kits; and that usually if there isn't anyone on board they have to call the doctor in phoenix, where they are based out of, for instruction on what to do; but they are uncomfortable handling it themselves because they have only been given a class on how to do CPR and use an AED if needed.
So we keep talking about random things, where their headed to next, have they seen flight plan the movie, is there an air marshall on board (they wouldn't tell me) etc. when all of a sudden, a woman who is heading back to the bathrooms right by us and hits the deck, right at our feet, BOOM, unconscious! The flight attendants all looked at me.
Lets all keep in mind that I just passed my national certification for being an EMT like two days before this flight.
I went straight into EMT mode, checking for consciousness while the flight attendants tried to stop the passengers who were in the lavatory, (on either side of this woman) from opening their doors because everytime they did, they kept hitting the womans shoulders; which confused them and so they pushed harder; so the flight attendants are trying to put their lips between the one inch gaps of the door opening to tell the people to hold on. ---Its kind of funny to think about it now, because they were not actually hurting her, but they were so confused.
So I dragged her back to open area where we were standing, and she started to come to. I barely got her to thh back when I overheard the flight attendant on the phone with the captain saying, "We have an unconcsious woman back here, but don't worry we have an EMT with her." haha Long story short, 45 minutes later after some oxygen, orange juice and crackers, she was alert and finally able to stand up by herself, and her vitals were remarkably improved from the almost unpalpable pulse and semi conscious state she was initially in. She requested that a paramedic check her out when we landed in Phili, so the flight attendants arranged that. Note to everyone, do not sit down on a plane for 2 hours straight after not eating for a whole day and then stand up all of a sudden. :)
We got her back to her seat, she was just fine, able to stand on her own, she got some juice and crackers in her system....good stuff. I had to fill out some paperwork per airline policy, and as I finished and was about to head back to my seat, the flight attendant that I first started talking to originally, asks me, "Hannah, are you hungry? Cuz we're gonna hook you up, girl!" haha I felt embarrased for accepting stuff for helping out so I politely declined, but that didn't work at all. She opened up those big metal cabinets back where we were, and started pulling stuff out. "Here do you like crackers, here are some crackers and some nuts, and pringles...., you want some alcohol?" "Ugh...no thanks," I started but was quickly cut off with, "oh ya thats right, you are about to hike in the desert. You don't need alcohol, here is some water." She pulled out the biggest water bottle I've seen. She then realized I couldn't carry all this sftuff back to my seat, so she started putting it all in a bag. Then the other flight attendant comes to the back and asks me that same thing, you hungry? You can have anything you want now." lol "That's what I'm doing," the other flight attendant said. So the second flight attendant starting putting Sky Mall products in the bag.
Oh my gosh, was I embarrased! An hour ago I couldn't even get a bag of nuts without paying, and now I have a whole tin of nuts, salami, cheese, and trail mix. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAD THOSE THINGS ON A FLIGHT! haha I went back to sit down in my seat with my bag of food and sky mall products, and I look back at Jessie who is two rows behind me giving me the most confused look in the world. HaHa...what an amazing flight, I was thinking. I love medical emergencies! We only had 30 more minutes til we landed, and as the flight attendants went around one last time to give passengers drinks, they got to my aisle to take drinks orders, started asking everyone around me in their stereotypical flight attendant voice, "Anything to drink? And for you anthying to drink, And for you.....and then when they got to me, "Hannah, what about you darling, can we get anything for you?" Would you like another water bottle to take with you?" At this point everyone around me is looking at me like, who is she? haha a little bit embarrassing, but not as much as when they came back with a box with 12 different snacks inside and said, "Here, this is for your friends, in case they get hungry you can share." I looked back at Jessie once again who had the OMG shocked smile on her face like what is going on? haha With all the stuff they gave me, it literally counted as another carry on item lol.
Another funny part to the story, as we landed we were met at the gate with like 3 cop cars, 2 fire engines, and an ambulance. Then I hear over the loud speaker, "Hannah, can you please come to the front, Hannah, please make your way to the front." HaHA. I knew they wanted me to talk to the paramedics, so as I am walking I am racking my brain trying to remember how to give report, something we learn in EMT class.
And that's pretty much it. When we get off the flight and get thank you's from all the crew members and captain, I was like on cloud 9! I told Jessie all about what happened in the back of the plane, and as I'm telling my story, the flight attendants walk out of the gate and yell, "Hannah, whoo! come with us to Vegas!" (which is where their next flight was going) Jessie and I were laughing really hard.
HERE'S THE COOL PART!
As Jessie and I are walking to our next gate and I'm telling her all the exciting details like an excited 5 year old, I literally stopped, and said oh my gosh. Jessie said, "What?" I said, " Remember what I was talking to you about before that flight, how I was so nervouse this morning that I wouldn't have a purpose on this trip? I've been praying that God give me peace and opportunities, and LOOK WHAT JUST HAPPENED!"
Now, I'm not saying that God made someone pass out to give me a little encouragement for this trip; but he let me be on a flight where there was going to be a medical emergency; and even if I still found it to be a coincidence, SHE PASSED OUT AT MY FEET! God was giving me encouragement and telling me, You have a purpose, here is some foreshadowing for you!" haha How Cool?! I haven't questioned anything about this trip since. I have just trusted that God has these three months planned out for me, and he totally does. I will talk about it in another blog, but its almost as if I landed, and had an itenierary made up for before I got here. The opportunities that are popping up for me to serve are amazing!
Thank you all for praying for me! It is very obvious that you have. Please keep praying. I have met some people along the way who have shown me some beautiful hearts and some prayer needs. So if you could pray for some of these following things, we would be very thankful.
1.) The mother of one homes I am staying in works at a places called Jamima. A christian organization that serves the needs of special needs kids in Bethlehem, working with the kids and young adults during the days on rehabilitation, teaching them life skills, praying with/for them, and helping their families as well. I visited the place and was able to see so many beautiful children with a variety of different mental disabilities. Jamima is in a tough financial situation, so please pray that God will bless them. The majority of the kids and their families are muslim, yet the organization is Christian - and the staff use this connection to the kids and their families to minister to them when they have the opportunity.
2.) Please pray for the Middle East, that the people can turn their hearts towards Jesus. Just because it sounds impossible, doesn't mean you can't pray for it because through Christ, all things are possible.
3.) Please pray that I continue to serve the Lord in all the ways/opportunities that He has for me here, that He continues to become more and more real to me than He ever has before, and that I am in tune with His will.
I think you can comment on these blogs, not sure since this is my first blog ever, but I would love to hear from ya'll. Thank you for you prayers and contributions!
Shalom!
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